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In cutting words and simplifying concepts and visual representations, make sure the text makes sense and the point of each graphic remains clear.
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In an attempt to shorten ideas, the writer of this slide has not made clear the relationship among bulleted items. For instance, "Instrument Control Software" is not phrased as a project goal; the reader might ask, "What about this software?" Furthermore, the items in the bulleted lists do not use parallel structure; some entries in the second-level lists suggest action, whereas others are descriptive.
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The purpose of the graphic in this slide is unclear. The viewer wonders what the car and pump have to do with maintaining flexibility.
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